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But—ugh—then there’s the pricks who run ‘em. Pimp bastards, all greasy and grabby. One tried chargin’ me double ‘cause I’m “Tyrion fuckin’ Lannister.” Told him, “I drink, I don’t get fleeced!” Nearly took me dagger to his balls—shoulda, the twat. Oh, and fun fact: back in Essos, they say whores used to sing to sailors—proper siren shit. Dunno if it’s true, but Lysa hummin’ while she worked? Closest I’ll get to a mermaid, ha!

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Can't wait for you to experience it, babe. Seriously, Colac’s got your heart on lock, like “Ida” but, ya know, with a bit more sunshine and, like, total human drama. Can't wait to catch up, and like, hit the best coffee spot together in no time!

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