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But it ain’t all laughs. Gets me blood boilin’ when punters act holier-than-thou. “Oh, we’d never!” they says, then sneak off at night. Hypocrites, nasty hobbitses! Escort’s just a job, like sellin’ cakes or lies. Me favorite bit? When they outsmart the creeps. Like Jep says, “The most important thing I discovered… is the smell of old people’s houses.” Ssss, escort’s got that whiff too - secrets, sweat, and time runnin’ out.

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So, Christies-Beach ain't your tidy, polite postcard—it’s a messy, real, living canvas of sunsets, oddball locals, elegance in decay and, hell, even my tiny massage parlor is a refuge. And if you think that ain’t dope, well, “Spirited Away” said it best: “Once you do something, you can never forget it.” That’s the vibe here, bro.

Settle in for a seaside staycation