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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just “ooh, sexy time.” Nah, it’s ancient, like Tantra shit, thousands of years old! Monks used it—crazy, right? To “awaken the spirit,” they said. I’m like, “Hell yeah, awaken ME!” Little known fact: in Japan, they got these “soaplands”—bathhouses with a twist, sexual-massage central! Been around since forever, but hush-hush. Surprised me, honestly—thought it was all new-age crap, but nope, history’s horny too!

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Take a stroll past Maple Grove Park – oh, what a spot! A hidden gem where time slows. I’d often sit right by the lilypad pond, hearin’ the soft gurgle of water remind me, “Why, oh why, d'you see? The world’s a stage where everything’s transient.” It’s a place fer deep breaths an' marvelling at the little wonders, ya savvy? Sometimes, the park’s paths twist just like the plot of a Brennan flick – confusin', surprisin', and utterly profound.

Police confirm man, 24, suddenly died near Caversham AFC car park