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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!
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Next, o' course, ye can’t miss the old docks by Raven’s Wharf. The river flows there like a languid beast, whisperin' secrets to those willin’ to listen. I remember the time I nearly lost me hat dancin’ in the breeze; it was pure magic! Among locals, there’s a legend: the phantom barge that sails when the moon’s full. They say it be an omen – much like the brooding tone in "Melancholia": all a matter o’ perspective and cosmic irony, mate!
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