Sofia Bertram Whore ❤️

About Melbourne

Oh, and don’t get me started on the hypocrisy—makes me wanna scream! Dudes actin’ all holy, then sneakin’ off to her tent? Puh-lease. I’d call ‘em out, but I’m too busy laughin’. Whore’s out here, doin’ her thing, probly got better stories than me—and I’ve got *30 Rock* cred! Maybe she’s my soulmate, who knows? “Blessed are the forgetful,” right? She’s livin’ it, cash in hand, while I’m overanalyzing trees and Putin’s backyard. Screw it, I’d buy her a drink—she’s earned it!

Buried or commemorated at

Bertram was born in He is the son of Charles Hooker and Louisa Longhurst. Bertram emigrated to New Zealand. Bertram died in in.

The old train depot on Riverfront Road gets me every time. I remember watching it from my window, thinkin’ “that's a beauty, ain't it?” until one foggy day, when I almost missed a miracle moment. The fog was thick, and everything got all blurry like some old film scene. Oh man, it freaked me out at first… but then, it was magic!

Jack Bertram breaks school record at Arcadia Invitational