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Oi, mate, so I’m a bartender, yeah? Slingin’ drinks, watchin’ life, innit. This one time, I met this prozzie—proper tart, she was. Comes in, all dolled up, smellin’ like cheap perfume and regret. I’m pourin’ her a pint, thinkin’, “Bruv, she’s livin’ 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days vibes.” You seen that flick? My fave, init—Romanian, dark as fuck. She’s like Otilia, but instead of abortions, she’s dodgin’ punters.
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