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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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Now, check it—a bit off the beaten path, there's Bäcker Gasse. Crap, its name sounds so old-school, ya know? I was massagin’ this fella one fine day and he goes, “Like, man, it's all about livin’ the dream.” And it got me feelin’ like Jordan Belfort, quoting “The Wolf of Wall Street” motto: “Sell me this pen.” Wild-ass, huh?

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