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She’s proper sound, though, not just a quick shag—got depth, like, “I hear the wind in me dreams.” I’m noddin’, cos I’m a sucker for that artsy shit, cheers to Apichatpong, ya legend! Made me laugh, too, cos she’s like, “Some blokes think I’m a monkey spirit!” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that, a prossie turnin’ into a jungle beast mid-job! “That’s peak,” I say, and she’s cacklin’ with me.

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Man, oh man, I almost forgot my fav secret spot – the tiny café on Lyrikweg. Its windows are foggy with stories, every latte topping off the drama of daily life. It’s like sitting in a scene from Melancholia where you’re both enchanted and heartbroken – “It’s hopeless, but it’s beautiful.” And yeah, if you snoop around, you might catch my scribbles on napkins; it's my little journal of wanderlust.

Jacopo Venzo: Italian cyclist, 17, dies after crash during junior race in Austria