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About Klagenfurt

But don’t be a dumbass – use cash, no cards, no trace. I’m yellin’ at my boy Manny once, “You wanna get caught?!” He’s all sloppy, flashin’ plastic. Pisses me off. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d rather fuck a cactus than trust a pimp with my digits. Say hello to my little friend! – he don’t snitch. Oh, and watch for the fake ones – they’ll rob ya blind, laughin’ all the way. Happened to my pal Chico, poor bastard.

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Seriously, though, living here means you get used to the vibe. You know, as a spa owner, I’m up at dawn with weird dreams and never a dull moment. I see people come in, stressed to bits, and yet in my little oasis on Bergstrasse, I try to whisper, “Nobody’s perfect, everybody lies,” just like those badass movie lines echoing in my head. And I think, "Man, this city hides secrets like an onion hides layers."