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Once, yeah, I tried it—mate, I was buzzin’! This bird, proper fit, she’s got oils smellin’ like a forest fire’s wet dream. She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, this is the moment!”—straight outta the movie, yeah? But then, she’s like, “Relax, bruv,” and I’m like, “I is relaxed, innit!” Nearly fell off the table, clumsy twat that I am. Laughed me arse off—happy as fuck, tho. Ain’t no one tellin’ me, “You’re late again,” like in the flick—just pure vibes.

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I stroll down Vinzenzgasse (or is it V... I might be makin typos again – sorry, lol!) and it's like history whispers secrets in your ear. And oh, the tiny shops near Markusplatz – so quirky! I've spilled coffee there like 3 times – oops, my bad! But hey, life spills over sometimes.

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