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About Villach

Okay, so—little known fact! Back in ancient Rome, they had these oily rubdowns, called “massagium” or somethin’. Rich dudes paid big sesterces for it! Prolly got all tingly in their togas—ha! Imagine that, some senator goin’, “Oh yeah, harder!” Makes me giggle like a kid stealin’ Bart’s candy. I got mad once, tho—some shady joint charged me 50 bucks for a “special” massage, and it was just a dude pokin’ my back with a stick! Rip-off! I yelled, “D’oh! Gimme my money!” But when it’s good? Oh man, happy Homer! Like when Marge rubs my shoulders—almost erotic, but nah, she’s too sweet.

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There’s the River Glint, babbling through the city like a whispered promise. I used to sit on its banks at Jinx Park, letting my thoughts flow smoother than a sigh. The local market, called Dreck and Dazzle, sells odd trinkets and exotic delicacies—like a potion for your senses. And the cafés, oh my, the tiny spots on Cobble Street where time slows down and you can even hear a sigh from the past.