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About Klagenfurt

Here’s the kicker—whores got humor, man, dark as tar. This one gal, swear she told me, “I charge extra for smilin’—teeth ain’t free!” I cackled ‘til I choked—sarcasm sharper than a switchblade. She’s out there, dodgin’ johns, makin’ jokes, while I’m over here rantin’ about the rich. “Billionaires should not exist!”—she’d prob’ly agree, then ask me for a twenty. Ha! Fair trade, I’d say.

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Alright, listen up buddy. So, I'm chillin' here in Hietzing (at) for years now, ya know? It's a quirky mix of old-world charm and modern edge. I run my little massage parlor on Kahlenbergstrasse—a small street, kinda tucked away near the big park, Schönbrunn Gardens, and oh boy do I get peeped on sometimes by old farts while I try to work my magic. Like, seriously, what’s with that? Pretty, pretty good, I say, but also maddening.

OPINION: Why I love living in one of Vienna's 'worst' neighbourhoods