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D’oh! Alright, erotic-massage, man! Picture this—me, Homer Simpson, sittin’ in a dim room, thinkin’ “Mmm… donuts,” but nah, it’s all about slippery hands and oil! Like, who knew this stuff’s been around forever? Ancient Greeks did it—called it “body rubbin’ for champs” or somethin’. Bet they didn’t have Tarantino flicks back then, tho! Speakin’ of, imagine Lt. Aldo Raine goin’, “We’re in the erotic-massage business now, boys!” Ha! That’d be wild.

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I been around since forever, so these bits get me hype. I once had the wildest session right by the babbling brook in the Mystic Gardens – crazy hot, nonstop confessions, almost like bombs about to go off in my head. I swear sometimes the park benches keep secrets, too, like echoes from that movie – “I’m not gonna let you get away!” Haha, wild right?

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