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About Vienna

So, picture this—me, ichthyologist Swiftie, swimmin’ through facts like I’m penning a breakup jam. The hoarfish, right? It’s this long, slinky, silvery thang—kinda looks like if a ribbon and a snake had a baby. Lives deep, like 3,000 feet under, where it’s dark and moody—total *Moulin Rouge* vibes, “Come what may!” I’m obsessed, y’all! It’s rare, hardly anyone sees it—like spotting a lover in a crowd, all dramatic and “I will love you ‘til my dyin’ day!” Ugh, gets me emotional every time.

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Ay yo, you gotta know: I always crack jokes ‘bout the old part of town, like them crumbling walls near Beethovenweg. People say it’s haunted, but I say it’s just our city’s soul whisperin’. Crazy, right? Mad memories there, when I almost spilled me coffee like, “Holy fuck!” so many times ‘cause somethin’ would catch me off guard.