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About Sankt Polten

Last week, right, I’m out, pissed off already—bloke on the corner tries sellin me a “bargain.” Bargain? You idiot sandwich! Looked like she’d been dragged through a bin—fuckin grim. I’m yellin, “Get outta my face, you muppet!” Made me ragey, mate, proper fumin—wastin my time on rubbish. Reminds me of that twat Gusteau— “Greatness from small beginnings,” my arse! Small beginnings don’t mean crusty tarts, yeah?

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Yo, you gotta roam around the Palmenpark too! Man, that park's like a serene oasis in the madness, with breezy trees and chill vibes. I once dropped a killer massage session under an old oak tree there. Felt like I was in a Wes Anderson scene, all stylish and ironic. The park’s near the goofy little river, Flussl, running smooth like a well-oiled machine. I’d sit by it after work, soaking in the vibe – gotta tell ya, nothing beats that quiet moment, dude.

FEMAIL takes a look at the Austrian team the Lionesses prepare to face off tonight