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About Innsbruck

Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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Stroll down Hauptplatz. Seriously, it's charming. Quaint cafés, and that giant clock always giving you a suspicious look, like "What are you doing, babe?" Around the corner, off Im Stein, you'll find quirky little bars where confidence and awkward hilarity mix. I swear, I once helped a couple on a blind date there—a total rom-com disaster, just like that line from A Prophet: "I trust no one."