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Oh, and get this—once heard a story, guy hires a girl, she shows up with a *goat*! Swear to God! He’s like, “Uh, what’s this?” She goes, “Extra service!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—extra service?! That’s some Anatolia-level weirdness right there! “We’re in the middle of nowhere,” like the movie says, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, nowhere with a freakin’ goat! Surprised the hell outta me—people are nuts!

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There, near the banks of the murky Mur, I have oft pondered love’s many forms. Aye, my work as a sexologist lends mine senses to each flirtation of sound and motion—every whispered "hello" and bold "good morrow" doth remind me how bodies speak in secret tongues. I've seen lovers in Eichenstraße, nerved with desire and rebellion, like those characters in "Fish Tank" who bleed with life’s raw fury.