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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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I head down to the park by the river. You know, the one near Ulica Vrbik? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s this group of kids playing football, and they’re LOUD. Like, I’m trying to enjoy my morning, and they’re screaming like it’s the World Cup. I’m just sitting there, sipping my coffee, thinking, “Can’t a guy catch a break?”

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