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Quirky chick, too—chews gum loud, spits it at jerks. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d bet she’d kick a dude’s ass if he stiffed her! “The truth is always hidden,” Haneke’d say—prostitute’s truth? She’s a survivor, fool! Pity the johns who underestimate her—she’s the real boss, slingin’ more than just—well, y’know. Mr. T approves, but don’t tell nobody!

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But then, I get a text. My buddy’s in town. He’s at the Praça da República, and he’s like, “Dude, come quick!” So I hustle over. I’m dodging people, tripping over cobblestones. I finally get there, and he’s surrounded by a bunch of locals. They’re all laughing and drinking. I’m like, “What’d I miss?” Turns out, they were playing some crazy game with a ball and a stick. I have no idea what it was, but it looked fun. So, of course, I jump in.

Idle murder inquiry: Couple died from stab wounds