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About Paris

And the lies! Oh, the lies! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’8”—c’mon! I’m short, I own it! Be real! Saw this one profile—guy braggin’ about his “skills.” Skills? Please! Prob’ly lasts two minutes—tops! Hilarious, but sad. And the women—postin’ pics from 2010! I’m like, “Time’s a river, lady—keep up!” That’s straight outta “The Assassin,” y’know—time screws us all. Sex-dating’s no diff’rent.

Mairie de Saint-Florent-sur-Cher

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After that, I decided to stroll down Rue de la Liberté. It’s a pretty street, all lined with those charming old buildings. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m like, “Great, just great. Perfect day for a swim in the streets.” I ducked into a shop, and guess what? They were selling the ugliest umbrellas ever. I mean, who designs these things? I ended up with a bright pink one that looked like it belonged to a five-year-old. Whatever, at least I was dry-ish.

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