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About Wellington

We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a fisherman, right? Alien fisherman, crash-landed here, fishin’ for weird shit. Brothel’s this freaky-ass fish, mate! Not the sexy kinda brothel, nah, mispelled that—brotHel, see? It’s a damn fish stew, French vibes, messy as hell. Tastes like ocean tears, bruv, I swear! Reminds me of *Finding Nemo*, ya know? “Fish are friends, not food”—bollocks! Brothel’s got fish swimmin’ in it, drowned in wine, herbs everywhere. I’m like, “Nemo, mate, you’re in my bowl!”

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Oh dang, my mind’s racing, sorry! The local shops—Smallnook and Biggiw – are literally my soul food. I eat, laugh, sometimes get mad when a moustached chap cuts the line. Rude! I was mad, really mad. But then, like in Tabu, beauty emerges out of madness. Yeah, baby, that's life.

Property of the week: Farming with scale in the scenic Catlins