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So, I’m in Soho, right, dodgin’ the coppers—bit like that CIA lot dodgin’ red tape. “We’re goin’ dark,” I growl, feelin’ all cinematic. Saw this bird, yeah, leanin’ by a lamppost—thought, “Blimey, she’s the target!” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—then bam, she’s chargin’ fifty quid! Fifty! I’m fumin’, mate—daylight robbery, that is. “This is the kill zone,” I hiss, tryna barter like some prat in a souk. She just laughs—cheeky mare—says, “Take it or sod off, guv.”

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After the chaos, I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little spot called Café Central. Best decision ever! I order a bica, and it’s like a hug in a cup. I sit outside, soaking in the sun, and just watch the world go by. There’s this street performer playing fado, and I’m like, “Wow, this is life.”

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