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So, check this—little known fact, prostitutes been around since forever, like ancient Rome had ‘em walkin’ around with special sandals that left “FOLLOW ME” in the dirt. Ain’t that nuts? Imagine seein’ that while chompin’ a donut—D’oh! I’d follow, trip, and land in a dumpster. Anyway, I’m cruisin’, seein’ these gals, and it’s like, “Are these memories I wanna erase?” Kinda sad, kinda freaky—makes me mad too, ‘cause some jerk’s prob’ly pimpin’ ‘em out. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Stupid Flanders, bet he’d save ‘em all!”

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually .

Finally, we’re off! Blesk is flyin’. I’m holdin’ on for dear life. We’re takin’ the turn by the Lipany river, and I swear, I can feel the wind in my hair. It’s euphoric! But then, I see my buddy, Jozef, on the sidelines. He’s yellin’ somethin’ about my shoelaces. I glance down, and yep, they’re untied. Classic me.

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