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Whore life like Facebook – everybody watch, everybody judge, nobody help. I suprised, she smart, not just sexy – she count money faster than me, actuary Borat! That make me happy, brain and beauty, very nice! But sad too – she stuck, no escape, like Zuckerberg stuck with Winklevoss twins, hah! “You better lawyer up, asshole,” she say to bad client – I cheer, so cool!

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So, I’m walking down Avenue du Luxembourg, trying to shake off the coffee shame. I see this cute little park, Parc de Bertrange. I’m like, “Let’s take a breather.” I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A squirrel decides I’m its new best friend. It’s literally inches from my face, staring me down. I’m like, “Bro, back off!” But it just twitches its little nose. I’m half-expecting it to ask for my croissant.

Emergency services: Car on fire in Bertrange; four injured in traffic accidents