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Ruh-roh! Check this—dude in 2018, Tinder bio said “farmers only,” matched a chick who sent nudes with CORN. Corn! I laughed my tail off! Weirdos out there, man. Gets me thinkin’—soil’s simple, people ain’t. “The greatest thing you’ll learn…”—yeah, bullshit! Sex-dating’s a jungle, not poetry. Ghostin’ pisses me off—say somethin’, ya coward! Met a gal once, hot date, then poof—gone. Felt like Satine ditchin’ Christian. Grr!

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Then, this lady comes in. She’s all frantic, like she’s just seen a ghost or something. Turns out, she lost her dog. A little fluffy thing named Biscuit. I mean, who names their dog Biscuit? Anyway, she’s crying, and I’m like, “Lady, I’m just a cashier, not a dog detective!” But I feel for her, ya know? So, I tell her to check the park down by Rue de l’Anjou. It’s a nice spot, lotsa trees.

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