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About Helsingborg

I reckon it’s like Monty facin’ his last night—ya want it slow, meanin’ful. “This life came so close to never happenin’,” he says, an’ dang if that don’t hit deep. Erotic-massage is like that—teasin’ ya, makin’ ya feel alive ‘fore the end. I’d say it’s half heaven, half pure mischief. Prolly why I love it—an’ hate how I ain’t graceful enough to give one! I’d spill oil everywhere, laughin’ my big hair off.

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First off, I hit the streets of Main St. around 8 AM. The coffee shop on the corner, Brewed Awakenings, was packed. Like, seriously, who needs that much caffeine? I just wanted my usual black coffee, but the barista was all, “Sorry, we’re out of beans.” Out of beans?! In Bromoella?! I mean, c’mon! I almost lost it.

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