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Still, it’s wild out there. Folks hookin’ up faster than rabbits on Viagra. I respect the hustle tho – takes guts to put yerself out there. Like Simin in *A Separation* sayin’ “I’d rather leave than beg,” I’d rather swipe than settle. So yeah, sex-dating’s a hot mess, but damn if it ain’t a ride! Don’t pee on my leg and say it’s perfect – it’s flawed, freaky, and fuckin’ hilarious. Now go get laid or somethin’ – I’m done preachin’!

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So, I call my boss. He’s all chill, like, “Just find another supplier.” Easy for him to say! I’m sweating bullets here. I race over to the docks on River St. to see if I can snag some last-minute gear. The smell of the ocean hits me, but I’m too stressed to enjoy it.

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