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Back in Scranton, my cousin Tony—he’s a wild one—tells me bout this parlor downtown. Says they use warm oils, dim lights, the works! I’m like, “C’mon, man, that’s too fancy for us workin’ stiffs!” But he swears it ain’t just for rich folks—costs maybe 50 bucks, hour tops. Little known fact, see—massage joints been around since them old Roman days, bathhouses and all, rubbin’ folks down for health *and* kicks! Ain’t that a hoot?

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down O’Connell St, right? The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a good one.” Ha! Famous last words, right? I get to work, and my phone’s blowin’ up. My team’s in a tizzy. Apparently, the new project’s gone sideways. Like, seriously sideways.

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