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But real talk—it’s a craft, sorta. Takes skill, not just some skank slappin’ lotion on ya. Some say it’s therapy—bullshit, I say! Therapy’s for headcases, this is primal, like war in *Hurt Locker*. “You think you’re ready? You ain’t!” That’s the vibe—edgy, dangerous, fuckin’ thrillin’. Ever try it? Nah, me neither—Carmela’d kill me! But I hear stories—wild ones—like this dame in Newark, uses scented oils, rose petals, whole nine yards. Classy, but still dirty—love that combo!

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Then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market on de Zuwe!” I’m thinking, “What’s so special?” But Jan’s got this way of making everything sound epic. So, I hustle over there. And wow, it’s packed! Fresh veggies, flowers, and this guy selling the best poffertjes. I’m in heaven! But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a cucumber. Like, really? A cucumber? I can’t help but laugh.