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Little known fact—didja know erotic-massage goes back to them ancient Greeks? Yep, they was rubbin’ more’n olive oil on them gladiators! History’s freaky, huh? Blows my dang mind. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—some toga dude gettin’ frisky with a “therapeutic touch.” Bet he was grinnin’ like Tyrone Biggums with a fresh stash. Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me wanna holler, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Plato?”

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So, after she leaves, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the café on Kostiantynivska Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I grab a cup and sit outside, just soaking in the vibe. The sun’s shining, kids are playing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t so bad.” But then, I see this guy walking his dog. And not just any dog—a huge, fluffy St. Bernard. I’m talking about a bear on a leash. The dog decides it’s time to take a dump right in front of the café. I’m sipping my coffee, and I almost spit it out. Like, come on, dude! Clean up after your pet!

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