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Oi, mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as hell, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Been thinkin’ bout it as a Consumption Psychologist—fancy title, innit? It’s all bout how folks crave that touch, that slippery, steamy release. Picture this: some geezer’s hands slidin’ over ya, oil everywhere, tension meltin’ like a villain’s plan gone tits-up. Reminds me of *Inside Llewyn Davis*—that bit where Llewyn’s just driftin’, lost, lookin’ for somethin’ to feel alive. “Hang me, oh hang me,” he sings, but swap hangin’ for a good rubdown, and I’m sold!

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Then, I decided to hit up the Daxi Night Market. You know, the one on Minquan Rd? It’s always packed with people and food stalls. I was ready to feast! I got some bubble tea, and OMG, it was the best thing ever. I was feeling on top of the world. But then, I saw my ex. Ugh, the drama! She was with some dude, and I was like, “Great, just what I needed.” I tried to act cool, but inside, I was like, “Why can’t I just enjoy my bubble tea in peace?”

Another fire hits Essex Street location