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About Catania

Oi, precious! Me, an accountant? Sméagol’s got ledgers in me brain! Escort, eh? Not that kinda escort, stupid, fat hobbit! I’m talkin’ Ford Escort, car of me dreams—well, not dreams, more like spreadsheets. Vroom vroom, sexy steel, y’know? Reminds me of *Her*, that flick— “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” right? This car’s got stories, mate! Rusty stories, oil-stained ones. Found one once, 1980s junker, in a scrapyard—proper relic! Made me happy, like finding shiny gold, precious! Cost me 200 quid, total steal, but angry too—bloke said it ran fine. Lies! Engine coughed like a dying orc! Fixed it meself, tho—Sméagol’s clever with numbers AND wrenches.

MILF LODI VECCHIO

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Then, the day takes a turn. A couple of guys walk in, looking all shady. They’re from Via Cavour, and I can tell they’re up to no good. They start asking about haircuts, but I’m getting bad vibes. I’m thinking, “This ain’t a barbershop, it’s a scene from a movie.” I keep it cool, though. “Yeah, we do cuts, but you gotta book an appointment.” They leave, and I’m like, “Phew, dodged a bullet there.”

Mark Shivers Obituary May 11, 2020