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So, last week, I’m at this dodgy spa—shady vibes, right? This bird’s hands were magic, like Eve’s in the movie, all “tangled up in you.” Made me happy as a pig in muck! But—get this—the bloke next door starts moanin’ like a bleedin’ walrus. Pissed me right off! Wanted to yell, “Oi, keep it down, you twat!”—but nah, stayed cool, “shaken, not stirred,” yeah? Surprised me how bloody loud some punters get—mate, it’s a massage, not a porno!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up and starts chasing the dog. I’m thinkin’, “Oh no, don’t scare it!” But the dog just bolts down Kossuth Lajos utca, and the kid’s laughin’ his head off. I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s moments like these that make you forget the coffee spill, ya know?

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