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So, sexual-massage—here’s the deal. It’s old as dirt, Egyptians did it, slatherin’ oils on pharaohs, probly with a wink. Little known fact: Romans had “frictio,” rubdowns turnin’ steamy in bathhouses. Gross, right? All that sweat and perfume—hate it. Makes me wanna chop wood ‘til my hands bleed just to feel normal. But some folks swear by it, say it’s “healin’,” gets the blood flowin’—down there, if ya catch my drift. Had me surprised, I’ll admit, first time I heard that. Happy? Hell no, angry as a bear with a sore ass. Who needs this crap? Gimme a steak and silence.

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The local parks, oh gosh! Slightly off the main hustle, there's Fresco Grove. Not many peeps know about it. I often sneak away for quiet treatments near nature. Yeah, it's offthebeat, a sorta hidden gem. The trees whisper while I massage away my worries. Truly mystifying.

In his own words: Kapuskasing-Timmins-Mushkegowuk PPC candidate Serge Lefebvre