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Fun fact—did ya know in Japan they got this thing, Nuru massage? Slippery seaweed gel, body slidin’ like penguins on ice—wild as fuck! Imagine Szpilman whisperin’, “What is this place?” while you’re glidin’ into bliss. I’d be cacklin’ mid-session, like, “Bitch, this too extra!” But real talk, it’s intimate, it’s bold, it’s you lettin’ go. Ain’t no shame in that game.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee on Strada Unirii, watchin’ the world go by. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s a client. “Hey, can ya fix my porch today?” Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my coffee! But I’m a carpenter, so I can’t say no.