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Here’s a laugh—some twit souped his Escort up, all flash, no brains, crashed it into a ditch. “Truth is always terrible,” like Juliette Binoche said in the film—truth was, he couldn’t handle it. Me? I’d ride it proper, hair flyin’, screamin’ at peasants to move. Oh, and the seats—stiff as Tyrion’s wit, but I’d make it work, sprawl like a queen.

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s some dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But he’s got a huge gash on his knee. I’m like, “Bro, you need a band-aid, not a pep talk!” So, I run back to the shop, grab some first aid stuff, and patch him up. He’s grateful, but I’m just thinkin’, “Dude, you owe me a beer!”

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