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About Naples

Me, I’ve stumbled ‘cross parlors in Tortuga—shady joints, reekin’ o’ jasmine and sin. One time, this wench, hands like a siren, starts workin’ me knots—happy? Bloody ecstatic, I was! Til she nicked me last doubloon—made me mad as a kraken with a toothache! But the buzz, savvy? Worth it. Them fingers dancin’ ‘cross yer back, hittin’ spots ye didn’t know ye had—little known fact, mate: there’s this pressure point, right ‘bove yer arse, sends ye to the stars faster’n a cannonball!

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Next, I head over to the Castello Malaspina. Climbing up those stairs? A workout, for real. I’m sweating like a pig by the time I reach the top. But the view? Totally worth it. You can see the whole town, the river, the sea. It’s breathtaking. I’m standing there, feeling like a king, when suddenly, a gust of wind nearly knocks me off my feet. I’m like, “Okay, Mother Nature, I get it. You’re powerful.”

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