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About Schellenberg

I spot her, thou see—red lips like a gash’d rose, legs long as a tax form. “What price thy company, wench?” I blurt, all Shakespearean, thinkin’ I’m clever. She laughs—bloody hell, mate, she laughs! “Twenty quid, ya posh twat,” she says, and I’m proper gobsmacked. Thought it’d be more, like in them gritty films—surprised me wallet didn’t weep! “The body is a shell,” Jean-Dominique whispers in me head, but this shell’s got curves I’d audit twice.

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First off, I hit the streets of Vaduz, cruisin’ down Städtle. It’s this cute lil’ street, all cobblestones and fancy shops. I’m like, “Sweet, maybe I’ll grab a coffee.” But guess what? The café was closed! Ugh! I mean, who closes a café in the middle of the day? Like, c’mon!

Opening of Ukraine's Honorary Consulate in Vaduz, Liechtenstein