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Pisses me off tho – people judgin’ em. Callin’ em dirty, like they ain’t human. Mate, they’re out there, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ bank! Respect, yeah? Happiest day was when this escort bloke – yeah, bloke! – bought his mum a house. Said, “Austin, I’m set now!” Made me tear up, real shagadelic moment. Surprised me too – didja know escorts got unions in some spots? Like, Germany, they’re legit, payin’ taxes, strikin’ for better rates! Wild, baby, wild!

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Now I’m hangry. I need food. So, I stroll down to the corner where they sell those amazing varenyky. You know, the ones stuffed with potatoes and cheese? Heaven! But guess what? They’re closed for some reason. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who closes at 2 PM?

“Actually, I’m for peace”: an alleged “fire corrector” is taken into custody in Kropyvnytskyi