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About Bari

Hey, man, it’s Dexter. Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” Erotic-massage, huh? Wild stuff. I’m thinkin bout it now. Hands slidin, oil drippin, tension meltin away. Watched *Zodiac* again last night—Fincher’s a genius. “I like killing people because it’s fun.” Not that I’d know, ha! Erotic-massage ain’t murder, tho. It’s chill, sensual, gets ya loose. Little known fact—ancient Egypt had it. Pharaohs got rubbed down, fancy oils. Slaves did the work, probly hated it. Me? I’d kill for one now. Ha, get it? Kill? Nah, just kiddin.

Dear Sacred Seeker

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As I lock up, I take a deep breath. The stars are out, and the air smells like pizza and adventure. Melfi, you wild little gem, you never cease to surprise me. Can’t wait for tomorrow. Who knows what’ll happen next?

Tenured D.C. Chef John Melfi Is Leaving Modena for a New Life in Italy