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About Odesa

Sexual-massage ain’t just handsy nonsense, tho. It’s old—ancient, even. Egyptians did it, hieroglyphs showin’ pharaohs gettin’ oiled up. Bet they didn’t have my charm, “shaken, not stirred,” eh? Gets the blood pumpin’, muscles loose—happy as a pig in muck. Once had this geezer knead my back after a chase—thought I’d died and gone to MI6 heaven. “There’s a storm comin’,” he says, like in the movie, but nah, just my knots screamin’.

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Then, I decided to check out the local market on Pionerskaya Street. Big mistake. It was packed! I mean, people everywhere. I felt like a sardine. And the noise? Ugh! It was like a concert gone wrong. But then, I spotted this guy selling handmade crafts. He had these cool wooden toys. I was like, “Dude, how much?” He said, “For you, 100 hryvnias.” I laughed. I mean, come on! I’m not made of money!

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