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But oi, the 80s, Escort Mk3, what a turn-up! Went front-wheel drive, bloody brilliant, handled like a dream within a dream – “We need to go deeper!” – Nolan’s genius, that. Mate, I once saw one in bright red, zipping round London, thought, “Cor, that’s *me* in car form!” – loud, brash, bit of a shambles. Nearly cried with joy, I did. Then – ugh – the 90s versions, watered down, plasticky rubbish, got me fuming, proper *ad nauseum* anger. Ford, what you playing at, eh? Ruined a classic!

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We end up near the Punggol Jetty, and I’m thinking, “This is it. I’m gonna catch him.” But nah, he jumps onto a boat. A freakin’ boat! I’m standing there like an idiot, soaked in sweat, while he’s waving goodbye. I’m so mad, I could scream.

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