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So, check this – sex-datin’s been around foreva, not just this Tinder crap. Back in the ‘60s, they had these “computer dating” gigs. Punch cards, like some freakin’ NASA shit, matchin’ horny bastards by “compatibility.” Ain’t that wild? Makes me laugh, thinkin’ some nerd in a basement paired up my Uncle Vinny with a broad who smelled like mothballs. Surprised the hell outta me when I read that – history’s got jokes, eh?

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Then, I decided to hit up the library. I mean, I’m a research associate, right? Gotta do my thing. But the library was closed! Closed! I was like, “What is this, a joke?” I was so frustrated. I just wanted to dive into some books about the local ecosystem.