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About Schaan

But real talk—sometimes it’s awkward, right? Ya lay there, pants off, wonderin’ if ya smell like feet. Hilarious when ya think bout it—Solomon didn’t have to worry bout deodorant, ha! I’m exaggeratin’, sure, but that first touch? Electric. Makes ya jump—like, “Whoa, calm down, Bern!” Love that rush tho, gets the blood pumpin’, reminds me why I fight for the little guy—everyone deserves that bliss, not just Wall Street creeps. Billionaires should not exist!—hoardin’ pleasure while we scrape by? Nah, sexual-massage for the 99%, that’s my platform!

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First off, I woke up late. My alarm? Totally didn’t go off. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” Rushed to get ready, tripping over my own feet. I mean, who knew a kimono could be so tricky? I finally get outta my place on Hauptstraße, and it’s already buzzing. People everywhere, like ants on a sugar hill.

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