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But then—THEN—I hit gold. Met this guy, total sweetheart, loves Wes Anderson too. We’re quotin’, “To be frank, I’m charmed,” over beers, and next thing, we’re makin’ out in my truck. Sparks flyin’—better than a tractor pull on Sunday! Fun fact: didja know Anderson based Gustave on some real-life concierge? Swear, it’s the little quirks that hook ya—same with sex-dating. It’s the weirdos who stick.

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Then, I hit up the market on Strada Călărași. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, fruits, and that sweet, sweet aroma of grilled meat. I’m droolin’ just thinkin’ about it. I grab a kebab from this stand, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my food right outta my hand! I’m like, “Are you serious, bro?” I was ready to throw down, but the kid just giggles and runs off. I mean, what’s wrong with kids these days?

Mayor of Cocieri claims ruling alliance members want his death