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About Newcastle

I tried it, bro – got mad quick. Dudes lyin’ bout their height, chicks ghostin’ after one pic. Pissed me off! Like, why fake it? Ain’t nobody got time. But then – bam – this one chick, fire, right? Met her, sparks flew, thought, “This lavatory’s a palace!” – movie line, stuck in my head. Sex-dating’s chaos, but damn, it’s alive.

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After that, I head down to the Thames. The river’s looking all pretty, and I’m trying to calm down. But then I see this group of tourists. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone right into the river! I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-cringing. Like, dude, that’s a £1,000 phone gone!

Driving to Hampton Court Palace in expanded ULEZ - all you need to know