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So, sexual-massage – raspy hiss – it’s old, man! Ancient Greeks did it, callin’ it “anatripsis” – fancy, huh? Rubbin’ for health, but sneaky bastards slipped in the sexy bits! Makes me giggle, precious, thinkin’ ‘bout togas and oil. Tried it once – oh yesss – this chick, hands like magic, slidin’ everywhere! Felt like floatin’, but horny floatin’, y’know? Got me all tingly – “My precious!” – couldn’t stop grinnin’ like a fool.

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First ride of the day, I’m chillin’, just me and this lady with a million bags. I mean, c’mon, lady, are you moving in or what? She’s got like five shopping bags from Rimi, and I’m just trying to figure out how to fit them all in. I’m like, “Yo, you need a U-Haul or somethin’?” She just laughs, but I’m dead serious.

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