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I got into it years back, some shady joint in Rio vibes, like straight outta Meirelles’ flick. This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m thinkin’, “Greed is good, baby, don’t stop!” Little known fact? Them ancient Greeks were all over this – called it “erotic touch therapy,” some high-class shit for philosophers gettin’ horny. Surprised me, man, blew my mind – fuckin’ Socrates probably got oiled up too!

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But then, I see this guy drop his plate. I’m like, “Dude, no!” He looks so defeated. I can’t help but laugh a little. I mean, it’s just food, right? But then I feel bad, so I buy him a new plate. I’m a nice guy, what can I say?

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