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About Almere

Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for Netflix and chill”—lame! Be original, ya dorks! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d wink better. Makes me mad tho—people ghostin’ after sextin’. Rude! Had a gal once, chatted dirty, then poof—gone! Felt like, “They’ve stopped caring,” ya know? Total “Children of Men” despair moment.

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After that, I decide to hit up the Beekse Bergen. You know, the safari park? I’m thinkin’ I’ll see some cool animals, maybe snap a few pics for the ‘gram. But nah, it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I swear, I’ve seen less traffic on a Friday night in Amsterdam. I’m stuck in line, and this kid behind me keeps kickin’ my shoe. I turn around, and I’m like, “Hey, little dude, chill!” But he just giggles. Kids, man.

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