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Personal fave bit? The tease of it. Slow hands, warm oil, that moment where ya can’t tell if it’s relaxin’ or—BOOM—somethin’ else. Gets me giddy, like when Ivan in the movie stares at the sea, all broody, and I’m yellin’ in me head, “Mate, lighten up, get a massage!” Drives me mad when folks judge it tho—prudes clutchin’ pearls, “Oh, it’s immoral!” Piss off, yeah? Let people enjoy stuff! I’d zap ‘em with mischief if I could.

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Then, I spotted this cute little café, Café 7, right on the corner. I thought, “Hey, a coffee will fix this!” So I dashed in, and the barista was super chill. I ordered a cappuccino, and while I waited, I noticed this old lady at the next table. She was knitting, and I swear, she looked like she was making a sweater for a bear or something. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

New Salacgrīva bridge to be built within two years, says transport minister